Archive for January, 2010
Age difference between siblings
The difference between my eldest and youngest is 18 years, however, it is not this difference in age between the youngest and eldest children that causes much of an issue, it is more so the difference in age between each individual child.
Starting from my eldest to the youngest the difference in age between children goes a little something like this:
Number 1 – Number 2 = 23 months
Number 2 – Number 3 = 14 months
Number 3 – Number 4 = 3 years, 8 months
Number 4 – Number 5 = 17 months
Number 5 – Number 6 = 23 months
Number 6 – Number 7 = 20 months
Number 7 – Number 8 = 20 months
Number 8 – Number 9 = 20 months (is there a pattern forming here ;P)
Number 9 – Number 10 = 21 months
Number 10 – Number 11 = 11 months
From the numbers above I’d have to say that the ideal difference in age between children most definitely goes to the 20-23 month period. This time gap ensured I had a full recovery from the previous pregnancy and I was able to get a consistent routine between children. By the time I found myself pregnant again I was fully able to dedicate myself to the newborn and the transition into the family was made extremely easy, this also enabled us to still provide a lot of quality time to previous children, especially the child preceding the newborn without creating any unwanted sibling rivalry or jealousy.
At 20-23 months most children are learning their own independence and although this is usually an introduction to the terrible two’s I can confidently say that this did not create too much drama for our household. All in all I favour this difference in age between children purely for the fact that there is not too much of a gap where children find communicating or playing with each other somewhat difficult, there are still moments of growth that they are able to share, experience and discover with other siblings.
Having detailed the easier spacing to deal with between children, the not so difficult but not so easy range would have to be 14-17 months. At this stage patience can be a little strained but with the tried and true routine I still believe this age gap is manageable. 14-17 months usually indicates the end to bottles and an introduction to the toddler years where walking leads to running and the discovery of one’s other senses through increased mobility. This can be a trying age when your 14-17 month doesn’t quite comprehend all instructions as adequately as an almost 2 year old, especially when you are trying to feed your newborn child.
I suggest that if your toddler is awake during feeding times for your newborn that you sit them down quietly beside you to share some reading time, have them turn the pages while you read the pages or even make up a playful story as the pages are flicked in the “no set order” that your toddler will assume or engage them in blocks or creative hand play where you can comment on the activities at hand while you continue to concentrate on providing a relaxed feeding time for baby. Enjoy the moments as much as possible and try to include your 14-17 month old in the daily routine of your newborn so there is a sense of belonging and role of importance for your toddler.
I also need to touch on the more than 3 year gap. I also have a 3 year gap between my older sister and I and I believe this difference in age between children may be hard to gauge. From experience the age gap was very challenging for me, I felt as if I always wanted to do what my older sister was doing but felt restrained due to being 3 years her junior. However the contrast I have with my own children is that my daughter is 3 years older than her brother and this doesn’t seem to have been a major issue, so I guess the gender of your child can play a major part in the difference in age between children.
At the complete other end of the spectrum is the less than 12 month period. I strongly believe that had I had an 11 month period between any of my other births, I may not have had so many children. The 11 month period between my number 10 and 11 was extremely difficult. Keeping in mind that I have a wealth of knowledge, tips and tricks from 10 previous children, we were not prepared for the 11 month gap. It came as quite a surprise as we had always wanted twins or a multiple birth but after having Troy (number 10) and Tiana (number 11) we have a new respect for parents of multiple births.
It almost became a daily struggle where both babies needed the same if not exact attention and time. Initially it was slightly easier to cope with until I returned to work when Tiana was 3 months old but this left Ieremia holding both babies and I know he has some stories to share with you all. From my experience the 11 month and under gap is extreme and possibly not something I would recommend unless of course you had alot of support from your partner or family during the first 18 months.
When all is said and done I believe that there are many contributing factors to whether there is an ideal difference in age between children but based on experience I would have to stick to the 20 month and above gap.
For more on the trials and tribulations of our family … where there’s never a dull moment and we share our experiences in raising children and welcome your queries and feedback, please feel free to visit http://www.4my11kids.com
Looking forward to “seeing you” there
Roseanne
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed. Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room. Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep. The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”. Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed. Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there. In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore. Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards? To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here… Unleash The Parental Leader Within! Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar. He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
Stop Crying by Going Outside
No more all night kid party sessions.
Who should stop the bullying
In his recent ABC news opinion column, “Want to Stop Bullies?” Lee Dye cites new studies that claim that:
- Girls are more likely than boys to intervene to stop bullying than boys are.
- Girls intervene more because they’re expected to by their parents, best friends and favorite teachers.
- Popular males are more likely to pick on weaker boys, while unpopular, weaker but aggressive boys are more likely to pick on girls.
Of course. So what? I’m glad Mr. Dye is speaking out and I share his desire to stop bullies and harassment, bullying and abuse in schools. The reason I’m sarcastic is that I think these studies, done by interviewing 269 middle school students in four schools in North Central Florida, are typical of the thought process and pseudo-scientific research that says that:
- If we knew more we could design better programs to stop bullies.
- There’s a simple formula, waiting to be discovered by further research that will tell us what to do so anyone, anywhere could use the blueprint and stop bullying in schools
- We can’t have successful anti-bullying programs until we have more research.
However, these assumptions are all false and this research adds nothing we didn’t already know. And the generalizations they’ve already come up with are contradicted by evidence from the recent suicide deaths of four girls in Schenectady, New York.
We already know that getting the kids involved in anti-bullying programs is critical. We already know that it’s crucial to teach children what to do when they are bystanders and see bullying. In order to incorporate that knowledge into anti-bullying programs, we don’t need to wait until there’s more pseudo-science research to prove that point.
In summary, we know that it’s everyone’s job to stop bullying in schools and everyone’s help is necessary, especially the kids. No one group can make a program work if the other members of the local community resist or are uncaring. The programs in New Hampshire are only the latest reports documenting what we know already.
Successful programs have the seven elements crucial to success:
- The programs specify acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
- Children are taught specifically what to do if they’re bullied or if they’re bystanders.
- The programs involve everyone – school board members, police, principals, teachers, administrative staff and bus drivers, the kids, and at least a vocal, core group of parents.
- Consequences are clear and effective action rapid.
- Courageous and proactive administrators, school principals and teachers.
- Kids are also trained at home not to bully and how to stop bullies.
- All steps are implemented simultaneously.
Anti-bullying laws are necessary to force reluctant or uncaring district administrators and principals to act. They’re also necessary to protect principals and teachers who do act from bullying parents who defend their little terrorists and threaten to sue the principal and school for harassing their little bully. That’s like in the Harry Potter series where Lucius Malfoy protects his vicious son, Draco.
The biggest problem in stopping bullies is not the lack of research about bullying: It’s the lack of skillful effort being put forth by the most caring people. At many schools, well-meaning principals and teachers need to join forces with a core group of parents to get programs in motion. At other schools, frustrated and angry parents need to rally other parents in order to force uncaring or cowardly school district administrators and principals to make effective school policies and then take act promptly and strongly.
Resources Cited: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/DyeHard/Story?id=7517300&page=1
Ben Leichtling, Ph.D. is author of the books and CDs “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,” “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids” and “Eliminate the High cost of Low Attitudes.” He is available for coaching, consulting and speaking. To find practical, real-world tactics to stop bullies and bullying at home, school, work and in relationships, see his web site and blog http://www.BulliesBeGoneBlog.com
Ask Moxie: Q&A: congestion in teeny kids
Thanks for the suggestions yesterday. I’ve been thinking about it a ton, and realized that the guilt I’m feeling is not about being a working mom (I love working, and am so much better at that than I was at…
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Blog entry about Rental Service For Kids‘ Video Games.
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Kids missing out on nature?
Years ago, we walked a mile to school without batting an eye. Then we walked back home, stopping often at the park to play unattended, unsupervised. After all, it was a park and kids were supposed to play there.
These were assumptions we took so placidly in those safer days before Madeleine McCann and Tori Stafford. The stories of these girls’ terrible abductions remind us that the situation confronting parents and caregivers is totally different in this day and age. Our kids are driven to school in buses and cars. We would think twice about letting them walk home alone, unsupervised. Allowing them to play alone in the park or woods behind the house is unthinkable.
The result is that our children are growing up with less personal contact with the natural world. As Richard Louv says in his book Last Child Out of the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder, “Today, kids are aware of the global threats to the environment–but their physical contact, their intimacy with nature, is fading.”
Are We Depriving Our children of a Connection with Nature that is Essential for Positive Growth and Development?
This is the question Louv asks in his book. He makes a strong case for the consequences our children will suffer when deprived of an intimate relationship with the natural world. He makes the case for the growing rise of ADHD, ADD and other behavior problems as a direct consequence of a lack of contact with nature in our children’s lives. Nature Deficit Disorder is showing up as hyperactivity and violence in our society.
He cites studies that show how exposure to natural settings (even for 20 minutes) increases the capacity for attention and focus in children. Students who take a 20 minute walk in the park perform better on tests of memory and attention. Other research studies show that children in public housing who have access to green space perform better emotionally and intellectually than those who do not have such access. Tests also show that just looking at nature can improve test scores.
Investing in Children
Louv insists that time with nature and in nature is an act of investing in our children’s health. It allows them to reconnect with a fundamental part of ourselves that is larger than life and allows them to appreciate the wisdom of cyclical and universal forces.
Take our child hiking as often as we can.
Replace part of our lawn with native plant. Maintain a bird bath.
Have a pebble hunting party in the park or beach.
Build something with the stones and pebbles collected.
Build a tree house or fort in the backyard.
Give our children a pet. It can teach them so much about natural wisdom.
Make a daily Green Hour part of the family tradition.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
No more tears!
How do you get your kids to be less noisy?
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
The Educated Child: A Parents Guide From Preschool Through Eighth …
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Electronics Awareness – with kids a full time job
When parents discuss how much media they allow their children, the answers vary wildly. Some parents have very strict time restrictions on their children’s media viewing while others give their children more control over the time they spend on media.
How do you know when your child is getting too much media?
One mom knew she needed to allow less video game time when her 7-year-old son started not wanting play outside or do things with the family preferring his video game instead. He was so attached to playing his video game that he often pitched a fit when he was told the game had to go off. His games didn’t have a good way to save the game for later so he was reluctant to stop playing and lose his place in the game.
She decided to reduce his video game playing to one hour twice a week. She started giving him a 10 minute warning before his hour was up. When the 10 minutes were up, he could either choose to shut the game off or she would turn the power off. It only took a couple times of turning the power off to get him to shut the game down in time.
What are signs that digital usage is becoming a problem?
If your children are exhibiting these types of behaviors, it’s time to think about reducing the time they spend on media:
• Spending less and less time with family and friends
• Difficulty focusing on the present moment due to craving video game or cellphone
• Developing health issues such as Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, eye strain, weight gain, backaches
• Withdrawing from sports, hobbies and social interactions
• Losing sleep due to gaming, texting
• Acting irritable or discontent when not using digital items
• Declining grades in school, missing school
• Talking and thinking obsessively about the digital activity
• Denying or minimizing any negative consequences
If you feel your child is addicted to video games and will react extremely to having limits set, it is wise to seek help from a professional counselor or psychologist.
What do the experts recommend?
Hilarie Cash, psychotherapist and co-author of Video Games & Your Kids, makes the following recommendations for personal screen time (computer, TV, video games). This time does not include computer time needed for homework.
• Under 2-years-old: no screen time
• Preschool: 1 – 2 hours/day
• Elementary: 2 hours/day
• Junior/Senior High: 2 – 3 hours/day
She also recommends no TV, internet or gaming consoles in children’s rooms. The primary problem with having these devices in children’s bedrooms is that parents have more difficulty monitoring what’s going on.
Won’t it be difficult to set limits?
It can be very hard to set limits around digital entertainment. These digital devices keep our children content while we benefit from some free time. However, when we realize our children’s media usage is having a negative impact on them, we need to set some limits despite our children’s protesting.
With older children, it can help to explain why we’re concerned about the time they’re spending on digital entertainment. Engaging them in deciding what reasonable limits should be set may help them in sticking to those limits.
We may also need to change our own behavior so that we are modeling reasonable digital media usage. While this won’t be easy, it will provide the time to try other activities. Perhaps this will be the summer your family discovers how much fun it is to go biking together!
Kathy Slattengren is a noted parenting speaker, trainer and founder of Priceless Parenting. Priceless Parenting provides an online parenting class which teaches effective discipline techniques for positively dealing with misbehavior.
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'The Unnamed,' Patti Smith's 'Just Kids,' Zombie Comics and More … Required reading from the week in books. ‘The Unnamed’ is the follow-up to Joshua Ferris’s sharp ‘Office’-style satire ‘Then We Came to the End.’ Hi. Disney-logoed DDT-impregnated wallpaper for the kids' room (1947 … From my research it seems that the malarial deaths are due more to resistance the to the ban, but DDT seems like a safe enough thing to use near kids compared to the other stuff they were exposed to in the 40’s through the 60’s. … Consumer Reports Cars Blog: Distracted drivingâ??Driving with kids … Yes, driving with kids in the car can be particularly distracting especially if there is crying, whining, or some other issue that warrants attention. Usually it’s either a dropped toy, needing a tissue, drink, or snack, that forces me … Ruining Kids in Order to Save Them – Reason Magazine The boneheaded logic behind treating “sexting” teens as child pornographers. Jennifer Lopez and Kids Kick Back Poolside â?? Celebrity Baby Blog … And, even if they didn’t do that, there’s one thing taking pics of a star coming out a Starbuck, than taking pics of them picking up their kids (in my opinion). Yes I realize I’m on a celebrity baby blogs. Their kids didn’t ask for this …Solving Teething Problems
kids and summer
With school out soon, parents either feel two things. 1)”Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!” or 2)”Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?”
Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need.
In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day:
1) Routine
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep
How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like:
8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am)
Eat a healthy breakfast
Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour
Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft or a baked good.
Eat a healthy lunch
Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to:
a) a playground
b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!)
c) a play gym
d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store)
e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a
brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they
want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity!
f) kick around a ball together
g) walk in the countryside
h) go to a museum
i) go to the zoo
j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade
popsicle or ice cream!
k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house
l) play catch
m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a
short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!)
n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good
music and have an enjoyable time together)
o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc.
p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths
q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a
good book while they play)
Come home and let the children have some “Alone Time” (for you as well!)
Eat a healthy dinner
Spend some quality family time together
To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children.
Voila! A perfect day that is routined and stimulating yet has plenty of free play and sleep.
Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly want. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/
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New baby? Don’t forget your partner.
Many times parents are concerned about their relationship when a new child enters into this world. It can be especially challenging for new parents to know what to do and how to do it when there is a new life brought into the relationship when there was once only two people.
It is common for either the new father or new mother to feel left out or “unattended” when new children come into the relationship. This set up becomes unhealthy for the couples when they begin to fight several times a day because of the new setup.
Here are some strategies to handle the new set up with the baby being a part of the relationship.
When you are co-parenting with your spouse it is extremely important that you put that relationship first. When you have children together you must remember that you were first husband and wife (or boyfriend or girlfriend) before you were mom and dad. Too often children become a part of the family and wind up taking over all physical and emotional time and attention.
It is important for fathers to understand that your wife will be obsessed with the baby for the first year or so. It is important for fathers to be aware of this shift and attempt not to take it personal. You will feel left out; however your wife still loves and cares for you even though it doesn’t feel that way as you watch her constantly worry, think about, and only talk about the baby.
It is important for mothers to understand that the baby has many needs, however your husband still needs your time and attention. Make sure you schedule in time and reserve some energy to nurture the relationship with you and your husband. Sometimes you may have to schedule a date night or alone time once a week.
In conclusion, the first year or two will be a time of major transition for a couple when a child is born. What was once a partnership involving two is now ‘living for three”. Be patient with yourself and with your spouse as you go through the new and exciting time in your life.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
How to give your baby pain relievers
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
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Parenting Video by Tony Hawkins
Single Parenting and the effects on children
Negative Effects of Single Parenting
Normally when people think about the effects of single parenting, they consider only the negative aspects of the situation. While there is a great deal of potential for a child to develop negative effects of being a child in a single parent home, there is also the opportunity for them to thrive as well. One of the most common negative effects that can come from this situation is a decrease in the academic performance of the child. When the child or children have too much to deal with and are not given a good way to vent their frustration or resentment, they will often slack at school in an effort to gain attention or lash out.
Other negative effects of single parenting can include an increased risk of becoming involved in crime, alcohol or drug abuse, and other delinquent behavior that can negatively affect the child’s future. The reason that children of single parents tend to gravitate towards these behaviors is because of a lack of supervision, or because they do not receive the guidance or attention that they needed in order to deal with their feelings and the loss of a parent.
Positive Effects of Single Parenting
The positive effects of single parenting are often less discussed or applauded, but they do in fact exist. When a single parent takes the time to embrace being both a mother and father for their child and does everything within their power to make sure their child or children gets the help they need, then the following positive effects can occur.
Children of single parents have an increased ability to build stronger bonds with their remaining parent. If that parent opens themselves up and allows their child to come to them with any problem they might have, then the child will develop a bond with that parent that allows them to stay on a focused and responsible path.
Those who are raised by a parent that goes out of their way to get the children the emotional help they need after the loss of a parent have the ability to get better grades in school, shine socially, and to excel in all aspects of their lives without succumbing to peer pressure in order to fit in. Counseling after a parent has left or passed on will give a child all of the tools that they need in order to cope and not rebel or fall into detrimental behaviors.
There are both negative and positive effects of single parenting, and both should be considered closely. If a child is give the nurturing attention that they need during this difficult time, then they can steer away from the negative behaviors that they may have fallen prey to, and will be able to excel the same as or better than those from a two parent home.
Becoming a single parent is not an easy task for an individual to accomplish, and it is often a step that they were unprepared for. There are many side effects of single parenting which have the opportunity to both positively or negatively affect an individual. Find out more at http://www.singleparentingguide.com.
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